Cyber Attribution Report

Cyber Attack Attribution Report


Country: United States
APT Group Name: TAO
Attack Vector: MP3 Player found in the parking lot
Malware Used: Android.Spywaller
Data lost in the breach: IOCs for Farook's dormant cyber pathogen
Who's to blame? CISO
Who's getting fired? The HVAC Technician
Contributing factors/excuses: Gluten Free Snacks
Will Fox News call it "Cyber Terrorism?" Yes, but only after MSNBC does.
Will we be targeted again? No. And tomorrow you'll be visited by a unicorn who poops rainbows.
Cost of the data loss: Your Job
How much did you save using this tool for attribution? $123,000